I started losing weight in 2008 and over the next two years lost 106 pounds. In 2010 my life changed when I got diagnosed with Crohn's Disease. Over the next two years I gained back 100 pounds. I'm taking my life back. Today is the first day of the rest of my life. Today is my fresh start and it can be yours too.
Check out this fun website Wordle. You can put in any words you want and it makes a cool arrangement of them. You can put in your blog address and it will take what it thinks are the most important words and make a cool arrangement. Below are the ones that I made. Enjoy and go to this website and have fun.
This one I put my blog address in and it took words that it thought was important from my blog and made this cool arrangement. You can click on them to make them larger. This one I made about my goals. I put goals on there and things that would help me reach my goals.
The whole family ready to do our 1st Annual Turkey Trot. The kids are ready to go. I decided to do my 5k for Zoe. A beautiful little 8 month old girl who has Trisomy 18. On November 25th she had heart surgery. Things are starting to look up for her today. I don't ever want to take my health or the health of my family for granted again and so I did every step in her honor as she lays in a hospital fighting for her life. Here is the picture I wore during my 5K. Zoe you are a superstar. The kids and Daddy waiting at the starting line. Parker and I ready to go. Here is some encouragement we found along the way. Tricia telling Zoe, YOU CAN DO IT!!! Tricia and I approaching the finish line.
Almost there.
We did it!! We found Parker at the finish line. He was looking for the doughnuts and hot chocolate. We found them.
Zoe has Trisomy 18 and is having surgery today on her heart. Please pray for her strength, the doctors, the nurses, and her family. We pray that all goes well and that Zoe will be out of the surgery room before we know it and that God's hand will be on her for a quick recovery. If you want to read Baby Zoe's blog you can do so at The Batiansila Family blog.
Here is a blog post that her dad wrote earlier this month:
November 25
Surgery has been set for Baby Z on November 25th. As mentioned before, we chose the shunt surgery and will be meeting with Zoe's doctor preoperatively on the 24th.
The days are flying by, everyone! The above is a post I didn't think I'd ever write. NOVEMBER 25TH. As in 8 months after she's born.
Pray for Zoe and the doctor and whatever this gift you and I have been given - to watch God fostering and securing a life beyond the experts' expectations.
My friend Michael Hennessey will be doing the unthinkable tomorrow. He will be completing his 15th Ironman this year, which will break the Guiness World Record of 14. He is doing it raise awareness for children diagnosed with Trisomy 13 and 18. You can read about his cause at Ironman for kids. Please pray for him tomorrow. Feel free to follow along on the Ironman Website. His bib number is 1234. Just go to the website and click on athlete tracker. Well, your at it please consider joining our cause for Trisomy babies and their heroic families.
Michael you will be in our prayers tomorrow and I will be glued to my computer screen. What you are doing is AWESOME and God is going to use it for great things.
I will be praying for all the athletes out there. Have fun. I wish I could be there with you all.
UPDATE SUNDAY 11/23/08 Michael finished the swim in 1 hour and 10 minutes and had a 6 minute transition and is now on the bike heading out to bike 112 miles. I'll keep you posted as I can. I'm off to church now.
UPDATE #2 Michael finished the bike in 5:57:59 that's 112 miles. His second transition was 3:33. Way to rock it Michael!!!
He is on the run course. Pray for his knee. And if you are out there look for the cowboy hat. YeeeeHaaaawwww!!
UPDATE #3 He did it. Michael is an Ironman again. He finished his 15th Ironman this year breaking the world record of 14 and is doing it all to raise awareness for kids born with Trisomy. Great job Michael. He did it 12:42:12. Congratulations.
Here is another SUPERCHIC[K] song that keeps me going during my workouts and such. It's called GET UP. I love it. Enjoy!! So this one and the one I posted a couple days ago are my two favorite workout songs right now. Waaahooooo!!
For so many years I have told people I cannot do anything on the floor as far as working out goes because I have a bad back. I even told Matt that the first day we met. At our last meeting he said, "Ok, come over here on the floor." I almost said something, but I didn't. I made myself a deal that no matter what he asked me to do I would try it. So, I sat on the floor put my legs up and held my arms up. I was like a big V. I did it. He had me hold it for 10 seconds. Then we did some other stuff and came back and did it again. I surprised myself and even Matt said at one point, "I wasn't sure you'd be able to hold it that long." I was really proud of myself. It was hard, but I did it. :-)
Today I went to the gym and when I came downstairs from the locker room to head to the workout room I heard fun music, an enthusiastic teacher, and people having fun. I went into the basketball courts and there was the biggest aerobics class I had ever seen. It was fun. I usually don't join in classes, but I just felt like it today. After the aerobics part of the class was over she told us to get our mats and our weights for our floor work. I told the lady next to me I wasn't sure I could do it because of my back, but then I pictured the exercises I had done that I had never thought I'd be able to do, so I went and got a mat and was determined to try everything she asked me too. I did it and I can officially say I do not like the plank, but I did it anyway. My back is not even hurting tonight. My abs are, my obliques are, my legs are, my arms are, but not my back. Wow, I'm so excited. The only time my lower back hurt was when I was in the plank position for the 3rd and 4th time. I was not able to hold them then as long as she would like. I really liked the class and will be going back for more. I keep surprising myself everyday. After the class I went to the big boys side of the gym. You know where the free weights are. I have always been way too self conscience. I had fun. Hmmm, I had fun. Wow, there I go again surprising myself. I actually had fun working out.
About my post yesterday about freakin' out about changing thanks for the support. Keep it coming. There will be change, it will be good change, and I will embrace the change. I will BE ONE WITH THE CHANGE. I'm really excited about what's next. I just hope I can move tomorrow to get out of bed, so I can get to the gym tomorrow for some cardio.
Yesterday my coach and I were talking after we worked out. He let me know that I should be able to lose all the weight I want to lose by February of 2010. I'm very excited, but also I'm kind of freaking out. I guess I didn't think it would happen that soon. This is what I've always wanted. I still want it, but there are so many thoughts running through my head. Whether or not it is healthy I have been my current size for years and have gotten used to it. I have become pretty comfortable this way. I have become comfortable, but never happy. I am very happy these last few weeks. Hiring and meeting with Matt is the best thing that has happened to me in a long time. I think that I am scared of the unknown. Will I change when I become thinner? Will people treat me differently because I become thin? I don't want to change, but change is inevitable when you go from 300 pounds down to 175. I will change, but I like who I am now and don't want that to change. I don't want people to suddenly notice me and treat me differently because I am thinner. I have heard of that happening. I wonder why people have to be rude to people that are overweight. Why do girls in Jr. High and High School get made fun of and never asked out on dates just because they don't quite fit the world's mold? I was never that fat in High School, but all the kids thought I was. Kids were mean. I think that a lot of those feelings are surfacing while I think about all of this. I know that to get healthy and fit I am going to have to face some of this stuff that comes up. UGH!! Logically, I know that I will be fine, that I will be happy, that I will be free to do all the things that I haven't been able to do at this weight. I know all of these things intellectually, but still feel very freaked out. This is going to be a great journey and I look forward to working through all these feelings on the way to the finish line. After meeting with Matt I got in my car and cried trying to sort all of this out. I will do it and I'm very excited just pray for me. I appreciate it.
The other day I was listening to my IPOD at the gym, in pain (I don't think I've let you all know the pain I've been in) and a song came on by the Christian band Superchic[k]. It came on right as I was ready to give into the pain and stop working out. Listen to it here at this link: SUPERCHIC[K] IT's ON This is totally my song now for my journey. It's On baby!!!
Here are the lyrics too:
"It's On"
It all comes down to this You take your best shot, might miss You take it anyway You're gonna make your move today Got the will, you'll find the way To change the world someday Grab this moment before it's gone Today's your day
It's on (and on) it's on (and on) it's on (and on) today's your day so come on, bring it on (and on) it's on (and on) it's on (and on) today's your day so come on, bring it on
And the view will never change Unless you decide to change it Don't feel like it today Just show up anyways And though life will take you down It only matters if you let it Get up, go through, press on Today's your day
It's on (and on) it's on (and on) it's on (and on) today's your day so come on, bring it on (and on) it's on (and on) it's on (and on) today's your day so come on, bring it on
And though you wanna quit Don't think you can get through it You've come too far to walk away It's not gonna be today And no matter how you feel It's what you do that matters This is your moment to be strong Today's your day
It's on (and on) it's on (and on) it's on (and on) today's your day so come on bring it on (and on) it's on (and on) it's on (and on) today's your day so come on, bring it on
(no matter how you feel, it's what you do that matters it's your moment to be strong)
It's on (and on) it's on (and on) it's on (and on) today's your day so come on bring it on (and on) it's on (and on) it's on (and on) today's your day so come on, bring it on
Parker, as you all know, was cast as a gosling in Charlotte's Web. It was put on by Christian Youth Theater(CYT). Christian Youth Theater has chapters throughout the country and I would highly recommend it for kids. They put on very high quality performances. That is the comment I got over and over from the people that came to see Parker. They could not believe how professional it was. Check out their website at www.cytchicago.org
Friday night they had their last cast party and at it people could do skits from the show. They could do bloopers or a rewrite of a song or whatever they wanted. I wrote a song about all my experiences as a first time Mom. One of the kids videotaped it for me. Here it is and I have put the lyrics after the video because my throat was really hurting when I was singing and I skipped some lines. Enjoy!!!!
New CYT Mom (Sung to William Tell Overture played by The Home Rangers) By Melissa Black
I’m a new CYT mom I have written a little song To tell you all my joy and woes Of being part of this great show
Auditions were what came first We were not sure how they worked He had a minute to show his stuff Man that’s really not enough.
We picked a song and made a dance We really thought that he had a chance Then we arrived and watched kids go We looked around and said OH NO
The waiting game it was next Did he get a part I could only guess What is a mother to do? I did not sleep the whole night through.
The next morning my computer went ding, ding, ding, I found out Parker was cast as a gos-a-ling
My life changed that very day Things got crazy is what I say Parent meetings, things announced Papers in my lap did bounce
Production fees, DVD’s Do you want a bear? He’ll want one you’ll see! Special meals, professional pics Souvenirs, Well I’ll be dipped.
Can you sew, make some props, be in the green room? Take pictures, usher , sell ads, or work a mic boom? Make souvenirs, we need you to sell tix? I picked the green room where with the kids I’ll get to mix.
You’ll have lots of rehearsals please be on time Help your child learn every single line If you can’t make it let us know Cause on with the show we must go.
Saturday rehearsals were really were like going to school Carol, Erin, and Charlie really taught us what to do They probably wanted to run when all my questions had begun But they were all wonderful each one deserves a hug.
Next up was a costume I needed it for Park You don’t want me to sew or it will all fall apart. The costume Moms said don’t worry we’ll take care of it for you But he will need some white tights and some white shoes
Parker was not thrilled about the tights He said Mom I’m a boy it is just not right He twisted, pulled, and stretched them out Get in the dressing room and don’t you pout
Jordan really saved the day He taught him how to put them on right away Jordan, Jerome, Coop, Devin and Zack Probably thought this new Mom was all whack.
you were all so sweet Knowing you boys was such a treat Thanks for helping my son And for calming down his crazy mom
you want me to moisturize my son? I might do it all wrong. Can I watch you put his make up on? Can I take a picture when you’re done?
Next it was opening night. Parker was fine, but I had such a fright. Would they Velcro his butt? Would he remember his cue? I let out a sigh when they were through.
Now I’m in the green room I hope that I remember what to do. Eat over here and play over there And remember to cover up when you eat and drink 7-up Oh wait a minute there’s no soda allowed in here I messed up oh dear, oh dear
Is there an Ice pack for that bump? Of Course We’ve got a bloody nose, somebody spilled soup in my purse. Play apples to apples and write each other notes Hey, Mrs. Tait, where’s that girl’s coat? If we do not know, then we will go Search this school from bottom to the top Cause we are green room moms and we don’t stop.
Eleven shows done we’ve got no more My life is going to be such a bore What to do what to do?
I’ll just have to sign up for the next show A new CYT mom I’ll be no more, no more, no more, no more, no more, no more, no more, no more, no more.
I’m glad Parker picked CYT It’s been such a blessing to me, to me, me, me, me, me, me, and him and him.
I went to weight watchers this morning and then to the gym. I lost 2.6 pounds this week. I feel great and was so excited at the loss. I also went to the gym. My coach wanted me to do cardio and weights. I did both. I hurt so bad. When I was doing the weights I was in so much pain from Thursday still, but I perservered and finished and when I was doing my reps and wanted to quit I pictured Matt there saying, "Give me a few more" and I did. Man, he's even telling me what to do when he's not with me. LOL It was a great workout, but I'm wondering will the pain ever end? And for those of you who are going to tell me that it's good pain. SHUT UP!!!! ;-)
OH MY GOSH!!!! I am so sore, but it's a good sore, but still sore. I really like Matt. He is really going to be good for me and really whip me into shape. I didn't feel so down after today and I was actually surprised at what I could do. :-) One thing for sure that will take some getting used to is when I feel like I'm going to die and can't do anymore he says, "Give me 5 more." The amazing thing is I do it.
I will be using the TRX Suspension Training System for my weight training. It is the coolest thing I have ever done and I felt like I got more of a workout than ever before in a shorter time. You use your own body weight to train. I did squats where you lean back using all your weight and squat, I leaned all the way back and had to pull myself up, and did something where I worked my triceps, and forearms, and also did push ups. I love it.
If any of you have used this let me know what you think. I love it. I hated it while I was doing, but loved it at the same time. Does that make sense?
I was trying to put a video on here so you could see what I am talking about, but for some reason I am not able to. Here is the link to a video on www.youtube.com to view what I am talking about. Let me know what you think. If this link does not work just put TRX suspension training in the YOU TUBE search and a number of videos will come up.
This is the first Wednesday that my son, Parker, has had to catch the early bus to go to band. We have to walk 6 houses down to the bus stop. I put on my tennis shoes, warm jacket, (It's freezing here) and headed down to the bus stop. The bus came and got him and I started walking home and here is the conversation I had with myself.
New Me: I should really go for a walk since I'm out here anyway.
Old Me: Naaaw, it's too cold out here and you haven't even eaten breakfast.
New Me: Good point, but I already have my sweats, sweatshirt, shoes, and jacket on.
Old Me: Yeah, but you could be in the house warming up. You know you haven't been feeling well. See you just sniffed and coughed.
New Me: I know, but I meet with my coach tomorrow and I already have to tell him I didn't work out on Tuesday, so I really should just go for a walk.
Old Me: I didn't tell you not to work out today, just not to go for a walk right now. It's only 7:30am. You have all day to work out.
New Me: Would you shut up already. I'm going for a walk. I'm getting my hat, a water bottle, and my IPOD.
Old Me: Oh so, you're going in the house to get that stuff I can still talk you out of that walk.
New Me: I am going for this walk and I will walk for an hour or 2 miles whatever comes first. Here I go!!!
Old Me: Nooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo!!
I did it. It was super cold out, but I walked an hour and in that hour I walked a little over 2 miles. I was very proud of myself. GO ME!! I meet with my coach again tomorrow. YEAH ME!!!!
Some of you have been asking how my meeting went with my coach yesterday. It was hard. I really like him and will have HUGE success, but I left there feeling sad, frustrated, overwhelmed, but mostly hopeful. I was sad because of some things that were brought up that I hadn't thought about in awhile. I was frustrated by what I have become, how I have stayed like this for so long, and how I have had excuses for years and not even realized it until I was challenged. I was overwhelmed because a lot was thrown my way and I was trying to remember it all and still am, but most importantly like I said I felt hope. Hope for my future like I never had before. Hope that I will be able to drop the weight and reach all my physical goals. Hope that I can stick to something I start and see amazing results. Hope that I can learn what I need to learn to teach my children. Matt was tough, but I need it and I look forward to our meeting on Thursday. Matt, if you are reading this, thanks for a great start.
I've been thinking a lot about my life the last couple of days. How did I get where I am today? Why have I allowed myself to accept this as ok? What am I willing to do to get healthy? What am I going to do to make sure I never get back to where I am today? Getting a coach is the first step in the right direction. I am scared, but know that I cannot lose the weight I want to lose without help. I've been trying to long on my own, so here I go. My journey starts tomorrow.
Here are some commitments I made to myself today for the next year.
-continue with no soda. -No fastfood. If I have to go out get a salad or a grilled chicken breast and use my own salad dressing. -do what my coach says no matter what. Follow through on this commitment. -No sweets for now except for gum. -No more skipping weight watchers -Do not eat while watching TV -Watch less TV. -Do not eat standing up. -No chips.
This is what I came up for now.
Here are my long term physical goals:
-Weigh between 155-175 pounds -Run a 5k -Run a 10 k -Run a 1/2 Marathon -Run a Marathon -Do an olympic Distance Tri -Do a 1/2 Ironman -Do an Ironman (Whoda thunk?) -Be able to bike 50 miles comfortably at the Apple Cider Century (ACC) -Be able to bike 75 miles comfortably at the Apple Cider Century. -Be able to bike 100 miles comfortably at the Apple Cider Century.
These are my long time goals for now.
Tentative schedule for the next 5 years:
2009: 2 Sprint Tris, 1 Olympic Distance, FALL: Volunteer @ IMWI, 50 miles @ ACC 2010: 1 Sprint,1 Olympic Tri, 1/2 Marathon. FALL: Volunteer@ IMWI, 75 miles @ ACC. 2011: Jan. 1/2 Marathon at Walt Disney World, 1 Sprint or Olympic Tri, 1/2 Ironman Distance FALL: Volunteer @ IMWI,75 miles @ ACC 2012: Jan. Marathon @ WDW, 1 Sprint or Olympic Tri, 1/2 Ironman (Michigan or Racine), FALL: Volunteer@ IMWI, 100 miles @ACC, Chicago Marathon 2013: Jan. Marathon @ WDW, IRONMAN WISCONSIN, I cannot wait to hear MELISSA, YOU ARE AN IRONMAN.
Tomorrow I met with Coach Matt at The Fitness Pursuit. I really have mixed emotions about it right now. I'm so excited because my journey back to health is going to start and my life will never be the same again. I'm nervous as all get out because I have never done anything like this before. I'm insecure because of my weight. I just had a talk with my good friend, Commodore, about this and he made me feel better, but the negative thoughts are trying to permeate my thinking. Intellectually I know that I deserve this. Intellectually I know that the trainer will be happy that I am making a change and not think, "Oh my gosh, look at the fat lady." Intellectually I know that I can finish something that I start. Intellectually I know that I can do this, but the negative me is trying to tell me differently. I want that voice to stop. I don't want to hear it anymore. I'm telling you right now Mrs. Negative Melissa GO AWAY, LEAVE ME ALONE. YOU HAVE NO MORE CONTROL OVER ME. Tomorrow it's all about me and getting my life back and I cannot wait.
I am committing this all to the Lord and will be praying A LOT!! Please pray for me as I start this journey. Like I said I'm excited and nervous all rolled into one. I know that once I walk in that door tomorrow and get started I will feel a lot better. Thanks.
If you would like to check out The Fitness Pursuit please check out their website at www.thefitnesspursuit.com
I will be temporarily away from my blog as I am in mourning over who won the presidential election. Do not worry I will be ok. I just need some time. Sniff, Sniff, Sniff. I'm sorry I need to go.
