Sunday, October 18, 2009

WW Update and 5k today

WW Update: Not good.

I had a significant gain, but don't want to say how much. I had a lot going on this week and it was my birthday. There was a lot of emotional eating involved. That really bothered me because I have not really emotionally eaten in almost a year. I let my guard down, wasn't prepared, and didn't log my eating AT ALL. I knew there would be a gain and I have learned from it and have moved on. If I focus on it too much then I will let it launch me into a downward spiral and I will not allow that to happen.

I learned from this that you can never get to confident in how you are doing or how far you have come. I had been telling someone recently that I hadn't emotional eaten in about a year. I told them that I really think I have that licked and then BAM, it happens. You can never let your guard down in this journey. You let it down and it is amazing how quickly some of the old habits come a knocking at the door. I am finally taking care of myself, finally losing the weight, and finally taking care of the mental crap too, so I truly believe I am being attacked by all sides to see how I hold up. This past week I didn't hold up very well. This next week and beyond I will. I had a friend tell me it was only a few days and next time it will only be a few hours and the next time will only be a few minutes. I would love to say that there won't be a next time, but that would just be setting myself up for failure, because life happens and there will be a next time. What I CAN say is that when that next time comes around I will be better prepared and it won't last as long. It's a journey, I had 6 weeks of losses in a row at WW, I had one week of a gain. Am I going to let that one week of a gain turn my life, my accomplishments, and my goals all upside down. No I am not.

One thing about having my journey so public that it is hard to have a bad week. Everyone is reading my facebook, everyone is reading my blog. I'm encouraging and inspiring so many and never thought in a million years that I could help others. I was telling a dear friend at Weight Watchers this week that I wish my journey wasn't so public because I didn't want to share this week, but you know what I want to share now. I want to share the good and the bad times. It's real life. It happens. I want to share with you the hurts, the triumphs, the ups, the downs, and everything in between. I want to share so that when you go through the same thing you can remember my bad week this week and you can be better prepared because I wasn't. You can know that you are not alone and that others have the same struggles. I am picking myself up this week, brushing myself off, and getting back in the saddle. I encourage you to do the same thing. WIth that said I have a 5k today.

I want to do a 5k every month for a year. I started last month and today is the day for my October 5k. I REALLY hurt my toe on Friday. A huge chunk of my big toe nail ripped off. It will be a challenge. This morning I woke up with heel pain in my left foot. This will be a challenge. Coach Bob, wants me to get out there and take out this past week on my 5k and kick it's butt. I want to do that too. I want to beat my time of 47:19. WIll I be able to? I hope. Do I want to kick this 5k's butt? I want to. Am I getting up even with pain in both feet and toeing the line? Yes. Would I have done this in the past? NO WAY. Two sore feet would have been an excuse to stay in bed, but I'm not. After all, I want to be an Ironman. I want to swim 2.4 miles. I want to bike 112 miles. I want to run a marathon after swimming 2.4 miles and biking 112 miles. Do you think my feet will hurt during the marathon of my Ironman? Yes. Do you think that it will be hard? YES. So my toe hurting and my heel hurting today is just a test, a test to see what I have, a test to see how deep I can dig, a test to see what I am made of while facing diversity and a test of my desire. I think that today I will pass these tests with flying colors.

This past week is behind me. I ate for emotional reasons and there were days I didn't care. Today I care and I am reclaiming my journey. I am in control. I am the only one that can allow myself to be side railed and I am the only one that can get myself back on track. I'm back on track and ready to sail on to the next phase.

Goals I have made for myself to help me not have a repeat of this past week:

-Track everything I eat. NO excuses. JUST DO IT!!
-Have more fruit and veggies in the house, so I am better prepared for my snacks.
-Make sure I get all my workouts in.
-Remind myself everyday why I want to get healthy and stay healthy.


Team Brazo said...

Every week can't be a good, solid, perfect week. Good choice on doing the 5k - like you said, IronMan is the goal - practicing getting thru the pain will help get you there.

Have a nice day.

Jordan said...

Get at it Meep! We're so proud of you. Everyone has a bad week or a bad few days here and there. You'll be stronger for it since you're acknowledging and attacking it the way you are. Focus on that finish line!


Anonymous said...

Do you not know that in a race all the runners run, but only one gets the prize? Run in such a way as to get the prize. Everyone who competes in the games goes into strict training. They do it to get a crown that will not last; but we do it to get a crown that will last forever. (1 Cor. 9:23-25)

Melissa, your journey and your willingness to share it with others, is so inspiring. And your faith, your testimony to Christ in your successes and the failures from which you pick up and keep going will inspire many who don't yet know Him. After all, "His mercies are new every morning" (Lam 3:21-23). He's the God of second chances, and thirds, and fourths, and fifths... Good to know He's so faithful! Through your good and bad weeks you are doing more than encouraging others to strive for weight loss and better health. You are also exhorting others to strive for a prize which is greater than all others.