Saturday, July 26, 2008

Weight Watchers Update

Today I went to Weight Watchers with no real expectations. I had a stressful week and did not eat my fruits and veggies like I should, so I went in just knowing I might have a gain and I was actually ok with that because I was able to evaluate what went wrong and make a plan for this coming week.

The outcome is I stayed exactly the same and boy am I happy with that, so I am still at 14.6 pounds lost. YEAH!!

I am not going to WW next week because I will be in UTAH, but I will be back after that. I have decided that unless I am out of town I will never miss another meeting again. These last three meetings have been a big eye opener for me and have really helped me with my morale in my journey.

I will let you know how it goes. GO ME!!!!

Wednesday, July 23, 2008

I met Debbie Downer Today!!

So, Today I went to Denny's for breakfast and to get some reading in for my homework. I had my weight watchers journal out and was tracking everything and asking the waitress some information about what I was going to order, got sugar free syrup, and fruit insead of hashbrowns and did not even eat everything I got. Boy, am I on a roll with this eating right stuff now. :-)

After about the 4th question to the waitress she asked me what I was doing and I told her I write everything down because I am losing weight. She asked me how and I told her I was on Weight Watchers. I told her I had lost almost 15 pounds on it.

Here's how the rest of the conversation went:

DD (Debbie Downer): Yeah, well I lost over 40 on it. I'm just telling ya now when you lose all the weight you want and you go off the proram you are going to gain it all back and then some. It was a pretty good program when it worked, but you just wait you'll see.

Me: Well, I am sorry to hear that, but my Weight Watcher's leader has lost almost 100 pounds and has kept it off, but he has continued on the program and still tracks all that he eats. It's on ongoing journey.

DD: I'm sure that's true if the program works for you, but it just didn't work for me. I hope you have better results, but you just wait and see. GOOD LUCK (said in a just wait and see kind of way, not a nice way).

Me: Thanks. You too. (Smiling and proud of myself that I did not throw any food at her)

I finished eating and reading and headed up to the cashier to pay. DD decided to follow me.

DD: So what happened to you? (Pointing at my leg)

Me: I ripped my calf muscle.

DD: So what are you doing for it? How long are you in that thing?

After the above conversation I was not that excited to answer her, but I fell for it hook, line, and sinker.

Me: I've been in it for 2 weeks and have another 1 1/2 to go and am in physical therapy three times a week.

DD: Ohhhh Physical therapy huh? I had knee surgery 4 years ago and I did that Physical therapy thing. That was a waste of my time. All they do it tell you to do stuff 20 times and then walk away. They don't even check to see if you are really doing it. I could have told myself what to do. What a joke Physical Therapy is. Obviously it doesn't work cause it is 4 years later and I'm still in pain.

Me: I'm sorry to hear that. I hope you feel better soon. I'm waiting to see what they tell me next week as far as mine goes.

Cashier: (quietly): You want to put a tip on here?

Me to Cashier: I left it on the table, thanks.

What I really wanted to say to cashier:
Give my waitress this tip: Quit being such a downer. I'm leaving here wanting to binge because according to her I will always be fat cause WW doesn't work and I might as well give up on healing my leg cause PT sucks and in 4 years I'm gonna be in pain anyway. So there's your tip for you. (Totally said with scarcasm. I did not go home and binge. That was said in jest. Don't worry I'm fine.)

I always consider myself a "the glass is half full" kinda girl and it actually saddens me when I meet people like this. I wanted to ask her what makes her happy. What makes her heart go pitter pat during the day? What is her passion or did she lose that along that way with her WW journey and her bad PT? It made me realize how truly blessed I am and reminded me why I surround myself with Debbie Uppers and not Debbie Downers. Thanks everyone for always encouraging me, making me laugh, and loving me. I couldn't do it without you.

Tuesday, July 22, 2008

Library Pet Peeves of the Day

When people are yelling at their kids in the library to be quiet and they volume in which they are yelling is much louder than the child's volume in the first place.

I also can't stand when people clip their nails in the library. Ewwww Gross!!

I'm off to get the kids from daycamp and study at home now. YEAH!!

Sunday, July 20, 2008

Major Breakthrough :-)

Well, I wrote about my light bulb moment last week well it worked. I worked really hard watching what I ate and even made it to the gym one day. I did an upper body workout and while there and major breakthrough. I was working out and looking around the gym. It was not the normal YMCA I was at and they had motivational posters around. Each one spoke to me. I cannot remember what they said, but it was what I needed to read. I also remember the day when having a ripped calf muscle and a boot on would have totally given me reason to eat and not be active, but that was not this case this time around. I started to tear up right there in the gym. I also realized that my handicap is only temporary, but if I do not get my act together I could have permanent problems. I do not want permanent problems. As I have walked around on crutches I have seen what so many people have to deal with everyday. People stare and don't even hold the door open. It has been an eye opener and I'm glad I only have to deal with this for a short time. Maybe this ripped calf is just what I needed. Who would have thought? It was a great week and I feel like a new person.

I went to Weight Watchers yesterday and my hard work paid off. I lost 8.2 pounds. That brings my total up to 14.6 pounds.

I'm so excited that I had this breakthrough. Things are looking up for me and only 2 weeks left wearing this boot. :-)

Tuesday, July 15, 2008

Ripped Muscle Update

I went to the doctor today and I feel so much better about this leg.
I got permission to swim!! YEAHHHHH!!! He told me to start off with walking in the pool and then work up to swimming.
He told me just not to kick too hard.
The other good news is that I do not have to use the crutches as much now. If I am going to be on my feet for most of the day I need them. Otherwise I can use my cane. I'm so excited about that. The crutches have been such a hassle.
The bummer news is that I"m in the boot for another three weeks, which will be a month total. UGH!! I also need physical therapy 3 times a week for 3 weeks. Oh well, I'm blessed becaues I do not need surgery and my handicap is just temporary, so I feel very blessed in my life. This too shall pass!

This is not a picture of my boot, but this is what it looks like. I have to wear it every waking moment and boy it gets very heavy.

Here are some haikus. Remember the first line has 5 syllables, 7 syllables, and then 5 again. ENJOY!!

Ripped calf Muscles hurt
It takes awhile to fix
At least I can swim

What else can go wrong
Is a question I don't ask
because I'll find out

I am very blessed
I have a lot that I can
Thank the good Lord for

Thank you for my friends
Thanks for my kids and husband
I am very blessed.

I saw the Beach Boys
and John Stamos was there too
Uncle Jessie Rocks!!

Sunday, July 13, 2008

My Light bulb Moment

Have you ever had one of those light bulb moments? An AHA moment? One of those moments where you knew your life was going to change forever? I have and it came yesterday at my weight watchers meetings.

As you all know I hurt my calf muscle a week ago tomorrow. I hurt it bad. I couldn't walk and two of my son's coaches had to help me off the field, into a car, up my driveway, and into my house. I know it had to be hard for them weighing in at almost 300 pounds, but they never let me know and they were so wonderful in how they helped me. As I said in my last post I was frustrated at my injury, but even more importantly I was frustrated at the weight I had let myself become and now with this kind of injury all my plans to get active again would be sidetracked.

Leading up the the injury we were on vacation where we walked forever each day. I ended up having knee and ankle issues. I could not walk that fast and had to sit from time to time. UGH!! I tried to convince myself that I had lost weight because of all the walking, but I knew that eating out every meal and not making good choices all those times could not be good even with all the walking. How many more summers would I go on vacation overweight? I didn't know at this point.

So back to my light bulb moment. Yesterday morning was my weight watchers meeting. I hadn't been since the beginning of June and to be honest was avoiding it. I told myself that come hell or high water I was going to that meeting. Not even a boot on my leg would keep me away from there. I knew that I had to go. I woke up at 6am on a Saturday morning, got dressed, got my boot on, got my cane, and headed out the door. It was raining HARD. I headed out and got stopped by a train. While waiting for the slow, long, train (you know when there are 6 engines you are in trouble) a song came on my CD. It is called I AM FREE. The chorus spoke to me in that moment and I cranked the song and sang it with all my heart. Here are the lyrics:

Through you the blind will see
Through you the mute will sing
Through you the dead will rise
Through you all hearts will praise
Through you the darkness flees
Through you my heart screams
I am free


Through you the kingdom comes
Through you the battle's won
Through you the price is paid
Through you I'm not afraid
Through you there's victory
Because of you my soul sings
I am free

This was the beginning of my moment. Even with the boot on my foot, even with being caught by a train, and even with a weight gain, which I knew was inevitable, I WAS FREE. I AM FREE. I felt that freedom right then and there. It was what I like to call a God Moment for me. It was incredible. Like the first verse of the song says my heart was able to scream I AM FREE. The train ended and then the gates got stuck. Like I said I was going to this meeting no matter what. I waited and the gates finally opened and I was off to my meeting. It took my forever to weigh in, but I did and I gained 5 pounds. Normally I would have cried, but not today because today I AM FREE. I went into the meeting late. I don't really remember what he was talking about, but I was able to visualize what FREEDOM I would have once I lost the weight, but even more important the FREEDOM I have now with who I am.

I decided right then and there I can still be active even without my legs. I planned what I will do this week at the gym or at home to stay active. I am tracking every morsel that is going into my mouth this week. I AM FREE from the bondage of this weight. I am excited. So I guess you could say my light bulb moment came on the way to Weight Watchers and while I was there. I AM FREE and with Christ's help I will succeed. Life is too short for me not to get healthy and stay healthy. I know those of you that follow me will probably think, "here she goes again." That's ok. I did not gain this weight overnight and I will not lose it overnight.

I have nicknamed my journey Operation Skinny Mel (OSM for short). I am sick of being fat. I am sick of not feeling well and I am sick of my joints and back hurting. I am sick and tired of being sick and tired. Here's to a healthier me.

Tuesday, July 08, 2008

I'm so frustrated.

It seems like when I am finally getting things situated something always has to come along and mess it up.
For instance, I just worked on a schedule for the rest of my summer with a goal of doing a 5k and a 50 mile bike ride at the beginning of the fall. I will probably be able to do those still, but I ripped my right calf muscle last night. I was fielding at my son's little league practice and went for a pop fly. I did an amazing catch and when I came down I felt the riiiiiip in my right calf muscle. I have to go to physical therapy for the next few weeks three times a week and wear a boot every waking moment. I'm frustrated, but also very thankful to God that I did not need surgery. I cannot drive and obviously I cannot work out. I am in a lot of pain, but am masking it a lot so I don't worry the kids.

I'm really frustrated tonight, so I decided to list some things that I am thankful for.

1. I am thankful that I do not need surgery.
2. I am thankful for beautiful healthy children.
3. I am thankful for my wonderful husband.
4. I am thankful for great doctors and physical therapists.
5. I am thankful for my friends and family.
6 I am thankful for a great church.
7. I am thankful for this wonderful country I live in.
8. I am thankful for people who believe in me and don't dismiss me.
9. I am thankful whe my kids crack me up.
10. I am thankful for hugs and kisses.
11. I am thankful for nature.
12. I am thankful for my house and the neighborhood I live in.
13. I am thankful for the very blessed life I live and a sore calf and a boot cannot take away from my blessed life.

Please pray for quick healing and patience on my part. Thanks.