This getting healthy journey is so hard. Over the last few weeks I've had a lot of ups and downs. The ups have definitely been more than the downs, but still having downs, which shows me I'm still not where I need to be mentally. There was a point a few weeks ago where I really let things get to me mentally. I mean, I was dwelling on my mistakes and ready to throw in the towel.
During this time I was talking to my friends Rich Kalasky and Carlos Hill. Rich has lost 160 pounds and started O2EA Coaching (Overweight to Endurance Athlete). They introduced me to a saying RELENTLESS FORWARD MOTION. I was dwelling too much on my mistakes and the past and getting really down and Rich kept telling me, "Melissa, you have to move with RELENTLESS FOWARD MOTION. No looking back, no looking at your mistakes, just keep looking forward and moving forward."
That has really hit home with me and I have adopted that as my new motto. Yes, I still have bad days. Yes, I still get down, but now I just pick myself up and keep moving forward. Some days it's a little slower than other days, but I am still moving forward and not letting little mistakes side track me for days or weeks.
When Rich first introduced me to this saying I looked up the word relentless in the dictionary. It is an adjective that means, "Something that does not relent. Unyielding, severe, strict, or harsh. Something that is Unrelenting." It's synonyms are rigid, unbending, inflexiblee and adamant. I then looked up the word relent and it means, " to soften in feeling, temper, or dtermination. To abandon or relinquish."
I really studied those two definitions and decided that no matter what happens in my life I really do want to be relentless in my journey. No matter the circumstances, no matter what people do or say, no matter what distractions are put in front of me I need to mmove with RELENTLESS FORWARD MOTION. I can't look back. I can't blame others or myself. I just need to do what I need to do.
While thinking about all of this I started to visual a horse with blinders on. When a horse has blinders on the only way it can see is forward. There is no way for the horse to see where it has just come from, it can not see to the sides too be distracted. The horse can only move forward. If the horse stumbles it just gets back up and keeps moving forward. Nothing will keep that horse from reaching his destination. People can try to tempt the horse with food, people behind the horse can call it, but with the help of the person on the horse, giving the horse direction, the horse knows to just move forward and keep moving forward to reach it's destination.
Today I am deciding once and for all to put on my blinders. No one is going to drag me into the past, no one is going to tempt me from the sidelines, and with the help of God, my personal trainer, and my counselor, I will keep heading forward with RELENTLESS FORWARD MOTION.
What are you dwelling on from your past that is keeping you from RELENTLESS FORWARD MOTION? If it is something big please see a counselor about it. I am in counseling and I am now learning that you cannot heal your future without healing your past. Does it hurt? Yes, it does. Is it worth it? Yes. I have had success with my weight loss before. I lost 106 pounds. I gained it all back and that is because I have never healed. Please heal the hurts of your past so you can have success in your future. You deserve it.
What are the distractions that keep pulling you from both sides? For me it is food, events, TV, and people. I have had to learn in the last few months of working with my personal trainer and counselor, that it is ok to be selfish during this time of getting healthy. I still care about people, but I care about myself more and getting healthy more and I cannot allow people or things to get in my way of my final destination.
Are you like me, when you fall down, you stay down? I have fallen down so many times and instead of picking myself up and brushing myself off, I stay down. I think to myself, "What's the point? I've screwed up already. I'm never going to be able to do it. I'm a failure." You get the point. As my Weight Watchers leader said to us once, "If you fell down a couple stairs, would you just say "Oh Well" and throw yourself down the rest of the staircase? No you wouldn't. You would pick yourself up, so you wouldn't get hurt anymore. How many times have you just given up and thrown yourself down the rest of the stairs? Aren't you tired of that? I know I am. I am tired of the pain.
Get your blinders on now and start moving with RELENTLESS FORWARD MOTION. I'm still at the beginning of my journey and still learning this concept, but am improving everyday and learning more and more everyday and it sure is freeing. I hope that someday you can find this freedom too. It's a lot of hard work, but well worth it.
I just want to thank Rich and Carlos for sticking by me the last couple of months when it's been tough. I want to thank Justin Killeen, my personal trainer, of Pioneer Valley Fitness. Justin, you are the best and I look forward to hitting all my goals with you. Thanks for being patient with me and realizing when I say I hate you, I really don't. James, thanks for being my couselor over the last couple of years. You have really helped me learn so much about myself and I'm excited to see where all this current hard work is going to lead.
I'm a big believer that weight loss is not just physical. It is mental, spiritual and physical and I am thankful to God for never letting go of me through all of this. He has brought all these wonderful people into my life to help me through all of this and I am grateful for each and every one of them. As my counselor always tells me God is the ultimate SOURCE and He gives us the RESOURCES we need to make it in life. So thanks Guys for being God's resources in my life.
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