Monday, March 17, 2014

My thoughts on the 2014 Weight Loss Challenge

In January I joined a 60 Day Weight Loss Challenge at Energia Fitness Studio in Hadley, Ma.  This is where I work out and personal train with Justin Killeen, my personal trainer for over a year now.

Justin encouraged me to join the challenge.  I really wanted to, but also had my reservations.  In the past, when I joined weight loss contests, I always ended up sabotaging myself.  I could never have more than 1 to 2 good weeks in a row. 

At this point I had been losing the same 5-7 pounds since September.  It was time to do something and time to stop self-sabotaging myself.  I also wanted to prove to myself, once and for all, that  I could do this. 

I threw myself into the challenge full force.  I basically showed up at the gym every time the doors were open, I continued to personal train with Justin, doing whatever he asked of me, and overhauled my eating, going almost all Paleo.  I started seeing my hard work paying off on the scale and in other ways as well. 

The 60 days have come and gone and I was thinking over what I accomplished and learned along the way.  As far as stats go I lost 15 pounds total.  Seven weeks out of the eight I lost weight.  The one week that I gained weight I only gained .2 pounds (that's point 2).  My first goal had been reached.  I lost weight and didn't self sabotage myself.  I am very proud of this.  After years of doubting myself and telling myself "I can't"  I finally proved to myself that I CAN. 

I really pushed myself physically during these 60 days and saw myself get stronger and stronger along the way.  I couldn't really jump at the beginning of the challenge, I couldn't jump my feet in and out while doing burpees and couldn't jog a 15 minute mile.  I am proud to say I am able to jump a lot more during exercise, I went from doing 36 burpees in 5 minutes, walking my feet in and out, to doing 51 and jumping my feet in and out for about half the time.  I had a goal of running a mile in 15 minutes by the end of the 60 days.  I completed that goal early on and went on to run a mile in 13:44. 
The words I CAN'T have left my vocabulary and my mindset.  I try everything put before me and find myself asking Justin, WHAT'S NEXT?

I can tell that I am walking a little taller and my confidence is the best it has been in years.   I have never loved myself where I am.  I always would say, "When I lose weight I'll finally be happy."  "When I lose weight I will think I'm pretty."  "When I lose weight I will finally be able to do what I want."  "When I lose weight . . . fill in the blank."  People would always tell me I needed to love myself where I was, no matter my size, but I couldn't do it.  I would look in the mirror and look at myself with disgust.  I let things from my past define me and because of losing over 100 pounds and gaining it all back, I had let that define me as a failure. I thought that this time around would just be the same.

During this 60 day challenge there was a day that I looked in the mirror and finally everything clicked.  I finally was able to see myself for who I was and finally let all the things from my past go.  I was able to love myself right where I was and I loved what I saw. The selfies that followed were proof of this. :)  It was a huge turning point for me.  It WAS so freeing, it IS so freeing.  For the first time in my life I am so happy with who I am and I will not let anyone (especially myself) or anything change that. 

Do I wish I would have lost more weight during this challenge?  Of course, but the difference this time around is that I am ok that I didn't.  Before I would have beat myself up and been down about it, but I realize that this journey is more than a number on the scale.  Physically I have changed.  I've lost 15 pounds, but not only that, I am the strongest I have been in a long time.  I am doing things that in the past I would never even attempt, I would just say I CAN'T and give up very easily.  That is not me anymore. 

The best thing that came out of this challenge is that for the first time, in many, many years I am happy and that is the best feeling ever.  I have not just lost inches and pounds, but have lost all my excuses, self-doubt, and my past.  My goal may have been to lose weight in the last 60 days, but I gained so much more that will only help me as I move forward in my journey to health.  

Thank you Justin for hosting this challenge and for believing in me even when I didn't believe in myself.  I cannot wait to see what this next year will hold for me.  Things can only continue to get better.  Watch out, here I come. 

Stay tuned for my final pictures from the challenge and inches.  I will be meeting with Justin soon to get my final stats. 

This picture is me at Energia after reaching my goal of breaking a 15 minute mile on the treadmill.


Anonymous said...

You could have just asked me and I would have told you that you were beautiful :) It took me a long time before I could see anything but disappointment in the mirror. I realized it doesn't matter how big or small I am, if I don't like me nobody else will either. I am so happy you finally realized what we all are beautiful inside and out. Love you Melissa!!

Oscar Taylor said...

It is cool and exciting to know that there are weight loss challenge that I wanted to try.
21 Day Weight Loss Challenge