Sunday, April 19, 2009

New Problem I've Never Had Before

When I was 43.8 pounds heavier I didn't care what I wore out. In fact the bigger the better. I would wear T-shirts too big and stretch pants or jeans.

I have realized in the last couple of weeks that it is hard for me to just throw on a t-shirt and pants. I even think about what I am going to wear now when I got to the gym. Now that I am losing weight and feeling better about myself I am taking more time to get ready in the morning and care about how I look. It is amazing how much my self-esteem has grown since November.

I have never been a girly girl, but now when I'm looking for something to wear I giggle to myself and tell myself how girly I'm being and you know what? It's great!!

Yesterday I threw on a cute outfit on. Capris, a white cami with this cute short sleeve sporty zip up shirt with a cute baseball hat on. I looked good, felt good, and then it happened. I started walking and my pants almost fell off. I am at the point where almost all my pants are too big. It's a good problem, but one that is frustrating at the same time. I have no time for clothes shopping right now. I guess I should invest in a belt. Please do not think I am complaining. This is definitely a problem that I don't mind having. I am a practical person at the same time too. I do not want to buy new clothes while I am losing so much weight because I will just have to go and buy more in another month of so, so that is why it is frustrating, but again a GREAT problem to have.

Today I went to church. I actually wore a shirt that fit. It is hard for me because in my fat mind that means a shirt that is too tight, but really it wasn't. It fit great. I have not been to church in at least 3-4 weeks due to different reasons so people have not seen me in awhile. I got complimented left and right and EVERYONE could tell I had lost weight. This is the first time that this has happened. My husband tells me he can tell, so do my closest friends, but sometimes you don't know if they can really tell or not because they see you everyday or they are saying that because they know that you are losing, so it is the right thing to say. Today I had people I don't even really know that were telling me. Now don't get me wrong my family and closest friends mean the world to me and I love their support, so I am not saying that they are lying when they say that. It is was just nice to have the confirmation from people at church.

I am SUPER PROUD of my weight loss accomplishments to date. I say how much I have lost out loud everyday just so I can hear it and it always brings a smile to my face, but that has not always been the case and there is something that I am daily having to keep in check. Because I have an ultimate goal that is SO BIG I can look at my current number and say to myself, "Man, I have only lost 43.8 pounds." Now before you jump down my throat I know intellectually that is a crazy thought to have, but I do have those thoughts from time to time. I want to lose 130 pounds. I will lose 130 pounds, so sometimes the thought that I haven't done enough creeps in my mind. What I have done is set smaller goals. Awhile back my goal was to lose 30 pounds. That was 10% of my starting weight. I have reached that goal, so the next goal was 40. I have reached that, so my current goal is to lose 10 more by May 2nd to reach 50 pounds lost. Then we will go from there. It is helping, but every once in awhile those thoughts will creep in and I will tell them to SHUT UP and GO AWAY and then I go on my merry way. Once I lose 50 pounds my next goal will be 65 because that will be my half way point to my ULTIMATE goal.

So to sum this post up:

I never know what to wear anymore.
I'm becoming a girly girl (just a little)
My pants are too big.
People are noticing my weight loss. (Eeeee)
I need to set small goals and not focus on the BIG number.


Cheryl A. said...

You must feel fabulous! When I shed my pounds, I couldn't afford to keep buying new clothes, either. I found all of my "new" clothes at thrift shops and resale shops, so be sure to check them out as you continue to shrink! I now have a nicer wardrobe than I've ever had before, and most of it is from Goodwill. You can come away with a whole bag of like-new clothes for the cost of a pair of pants at a department store.

I too have rediscovered girly clothes. However, Kate and Liz have warned me away from "their" stores...although we do occasionally shop in each others' closets.

Now I just need to focus on losing those last few stubborn pounds over the summer to get to my ultimate weight-loss goal.

By the way, congratulations on almost finishing your student teaching! Hopefully you will still have your sanity as you go through "professional week" on campus...then you're done!

fitncrafty said...

Wow congrats to you!!! This is awesome!! Nothing feels better than rewarding yourself with happiness and continued success!!!

As far as clothes, when I was losing my weight, I found a plus size consignment shop... they gave me credit or cash, and mostly I just bought smaller clothes. I never bought much as it didn't last that long and I always bought pants with draw strings, even for the gym, because I could wear them longer.
I didn't worry about baggie pants syndrome, when I hit goal all my clothes fit and I would by clothes every chance I got!

Keep up the great work, you are truly and inspiration!!

Karie said...

Yes, you do rock!

Congrats! I have always found Target as a great place to pick up short-term clothing. It is sometimes hit or miss, but I can usually find good stuff.

I think the voices in your head are completely normal. I have to fight them all the time. Sometimes, I get rid of them by running. The pool can leave too much to think about, and they usually get worse after the bike, in my case anyway. So, I find it helpful to literally run them out of my head.

Keep on Rockin!

Siren said...

I have the same problem - people think I'm weird to say I've "only lost 50 pounds," but to me the 150 pounds lost is the real goal and it seems so far away.

As for sizes... I buy one or two key pieces in each size (i.e. 1 pair of jeans and 1 pair of black or gray work pants) to avoid spending too much as I go down through each size. I always try to get stuff off season so it's on sale. Shirts are easier, you can wear them baggy for longer time without looking too silly.