Cool.

Recently in a spinning class I reached down to adjust my shoe and I saw it. I had a calf muscle. I had a hard calf muscle. I checked out my other calf and guess what? I had a muscle there too.

Recently I rubbed my side and felt something weird. It was my rib cage.

Recently while laying on my side with my knees together I reached down to itch the side of my knee and realized there was a bone there that I never felt.

Cool!!

From Sloth to Cheetah

My family took a trip to Costa Rica a few years back and we stayed at a remote resort there. It took us 2 hours by boat to get to it. It was incredible. We saw so much wild life. I will never forget it. Everyday we took river cruises to look for wildlife and to take tours of nearby towns. Every day when we would get in the boat and we would start our journey. We would see a sloth up in a tree. We were there for four days and every day we would see that same sloth in our comings and goings. He would just be up in the tree in the same spot eating. That sloth maybe moved a total of 6 inches. Six inches in 4 days. We looked forward to our journey every day to see if that sloth had moved. On our last day we were sad to leave because we would no longer be able to check up on our slothy friend.


This morning I was talking to a friend of mine and talking about my journey and I said to him, "I'm just glad to be going from sloth to cheetah" After we were done talking I realized my life was much like that sloth in Costa Rica. There were days on end where I would only move from my room, to the kitchen, back to my room to watch TV. I would get my kids on the bus, and spend my days just eating and staying in one place. Not moving very much. Very much being a sloth. I would get the kids on the bus, eat, sleep, watch TV, eat, sleep, until the kids were off the bus.




These days my life if much different. I'm up two days a week at 430 am, so I can swim and be home before my kids wake up. I get Parker on the bus and am excited to get back to the gym to hit a spinning class, the elliptical, or to lift some weights. I'm moving faster than I ever have before and am on the hunt for a new adventure everyday. I may not be quite Cheetah status yet, but I am closer everyday and will choose being a Cheetah any day over being a sloth and am happy to report that my slothing days are over.

January 1st 5K

I am doing a 5k on January 1st to kick off my New Year the right way. I have two friends doing it with me and my brother. I was thinking it would be neat to get as many people to do a 5k on January 1st nationwide. It starts at 11am central time. Wherever you are run a 5k at that time and it will be like we are all running it together. Send me a note if you are in and let's see how many people we can get to do it. Come on you know you wanna run with me.

If you are in Chicago the info is below come on out. It's gonna be a blast.



25th Annual New Year's Day 5K Run/Walk
Date: January 1, 2010
Time: 11 a.m. start
Location: Lincoln Park (Stockton Drive & LaSalle) | Chicago
Beneficiary: Lakeview Citizens Council

Kick off 2010 on the healthy footing at the New Year's Day 5K Run & Walk--Chicago's first official 5K running event of 2010! This iconic annual run/walk -- now celebrating its 24th year -- is a fave with Windy City sports enthusiasts!

An estimated 1,500 runners and walkers are expected to lace up on the first day of the New Year at the run & walk that starts at the south end of Lincoln Park. The course route winds north along the lakefront bike path to Diversey Harbor before returning to the North Avenue Field House.

My Bet with Andy

This is my friend Andy. I went out to Arizona in November to cheer him on in the Ironman and to finally meet him and some of my other blogger friends in person. It was a great trip and a great time. Andy and I just met within the last year and he and his family are great and I look forward to getting to know them even better.

Andy and I are both working on becoming more healthy. We were talking and decided that we both wanted to lose around 30 pounds, so we decided to make it a little bit more fun by making it a bet.

So we are aiming to lose about 35 pounds by the end of March. March 27th to be exact. If Andy wins, which those of you that know me, know he won't, I have to wear a big L on my forehead all day and explain to people why I am a loser.

If I win, which you all know I will, Andy has to wear a pink shirt that says, "I lost a bet to a girl." It will also say something else that I just haven't figured out yet.

The goal for both of us is to hit under 200 pounds by the end of it all. No matter who wins, but we know it will be me, it will be worth wearing a big L on my head or Andy wearing pink because we will be healither.

Andy, I am so glad we met and cannot wait to hang out again sometime both being smaller and healthier. Here's to our little bet. May the best person win, which we know is me. :-P

Here's some haikus for you. A haiku is a poem where there are 5 syllables in the first line, 7 in the second, and 5 in the last. They do not have to rhyme.

Hey Andy, Game's on.
We are going to lose weight
and you will wear pink!!!

Your family is great
You're pretty okay yourself
I am glad we met!!

Racing with you will
be fun in 2012
I can hardly wait!!

It's amazing. . . .

How quickly old thoughts can creep back into your head when you've been doing so well with everything.

That happened to me today. On my schedule for working out I had a 1750 swim with no stopping.

You remember my blog post about switching to smaller, tinted goggles, well I was wearing those today. I no longer keep my big goggles on the edge of the pool because I felt like it was just a security blanket, giving me to ok to go back to them, so they were in my bag in the locker room. It was dark and snowing when I left the house, the lighting in the pool is not that great, so it was darker in the pool area, and my goggles kept fogging up.

I started my swim and realized very quickly that I was feeling a little claustrophobic in the water. I stopped after the first 100, for about 30 seconds, told myself not to stop, started again, went another 100 and then stopped again. Told myself to not stop anymore and got going again and started to get panicky in the water. I told my self several times to go and get my big goggles, but I didn't. My mind was racing while swimming. I started to tell myself, "Who do you think you are thinking you can do an Ironman? People like you don't do Ironman races. Look at that guy next to you, that's who does Ironman." Things like that. The pool was very crowded today and people came in and were asking other people if they could share a lane and no one was asking me, so then the negative voice popped in my head and was saying, "No one is asking you cause your still so fat."

I made it to 950 yards before stopping again and was ready to call it a day and go home. I was having trouble breathing (thanks to a ventilation system that keeps breaking), I was having some panic with how dark everything was, and for some reason all that stupid negative talk was popping in my head. I stood there about 1-2 minutes. Talking to myself, out loud, "Ok, if you are a quitter, just get out of this pool, right now and go home. When you are in an Ironman, it will be dark in the water, you will feel panicky, what are you gonna do, get out of the lake and call it a day? I don't think so. Just get swimming and deal with it. You're fine. You can do this. Now get swimming and now looking back." I am proud to say that I started swimming and did the rest of my swim without stopping, with flip turns. It was still dark in the pool, my tinted goggles were still fogging up and I just imagined myself in a triathlon swimming and telling myself that I deserved to be healthy and deserved to be an Ironman triathlete and no more negative thoughts came back while I finished my swim.

It was amazing to me how quickly my old way of thinking just popped into my head and how I almost let it get to me. I need these days every once in awhile, so I do not forget who I was and where I came from, but more importantly who I am becoming because the old me would have gotten out of the pool at 950 yards. I would have used my panic and self doubt as excuses to get out of the pool. I would have let all those negative thoughts take over and today I DID NOT. I overcame and I finished swimming in fact I did more than I was supposed to. I was supposed to swim a 1750 today and ended up doing 2500 total that includes some kicking and the use of pull buoys, but I did 2500 yards and grew emotionally and mentally in the process.

I am a new athlete.

Revisiting the topic of flip turns

Maybe someday I'll be this excited to do flip turns.


Back on November 12, 2009, I wrote about flip turns, I did not like flip turns, I never wanted to do another one, and even asked you all why I had to learn them.

My coach met with me, we swam, and we worked on flip turns. He encouraged me just to add a few flip turns to each swim workout and eventually I would feel more comfortable with it. I told him OK that day, but my mind was saying YEAH RIGHT. I showed up for my next workout, not even thinking about flip turns and the most amazing thing happened. It freaked me out a little. I started swimming and when I got to the wall, without even thinking about it, with no panic, I DID A FLIP TURN. When I came up out of the water I had a little trouble breathing, and had to tread for a second, but not because I had trouble or lost my breath, but because I was excited that I had done it and the excitement broke my concentration. That day was a turning point for me. I would love to say that I did flip turns the whole time. I would love to say that they were perfect. I would love to say that I started loving them, but I can't say any of those things, but what I can say is that when I did flip turns that day there was a sense of peace,not panic. There was a sense of pride, not myself telling me I can't do it. I knew that day I had turned a corner in a very good way.

That was two weeks ago. I went and swam today. I swam 2200 yards. Only 300 of that 2200 was with a kick board. The other 1900 yards was freestyle, sometimes with a pull buoy ( for those of you who might not know what a pull buoy is it is a thing you put between your legs that causes your legs to rise (float) to the surface, so you learn how your body should be lined up. While using this you don't kick and you are only pulling with your arms.), but mostly without a pull buoy. I was swimming in sets of 100 and I am proud to say that in every set of 100's I did at least 2 flip turns. Again, they weren't all pretty, but I was doing it. Only a couple times did I lose my breath, only a couple times did I misjudge and turn too soon and there was no wall there for me to kick, but what amazed me is that I kept going in all the situations. I kept going. I kept swimming and then the most amazing thing happened. . .

Two of my friends were in the next lane over from me. We swim together in my master's swim class. They know I have been trying and trying to learn these flip turns. They stopped me and said, "Hey, Melissa, Nice flip turns. You are so fluid in the motion and so fluid in the water. GREAT JOB!" I thanked them and swam away. I wanted to laugh. When I am swimming I feel anything, but fluid. This all seems so hard and foreign to me still, but they were watching me, they saw me, and they saw that I was fluid in the water. Me, former fat girl, who used to doggy paddle and never put her face in the water. I am fluid in the water. Wow, who would have thought?

Inspiration

Today someone told me, "Thanks for all your inspiration."

I was told this week by someone who has done an Ironman that I inspire them. They look at my status on facebook before leaving for work everyday and when they are laying in bed not wanting to go to the gym they think of me and get their butt out of bed and go. This is an Ironman people. That's who I look up to for my inspiration.

I've been told that because of me someone is parking their car farther away in the parking lot at work.

Someone else is taking the stairs at work instead of the elevator because of me.

I have been emailed that someone did a 1/2 marathon and they thanked me for my encouragement.

I have had several people tell me that they did their first triathlons because of me sharing my journey.

I had someone tell me just this week that they appreciate my honesty in sharing my story on my blog and facebook. They love how I share the good days and the bad. They love how open and real I am with it.

A professional triathlete named Mike Lovato, who won Ironman Arizona in 2006, told me that I inspire him to keep doing what he is doing.

I have people coming from all over the country in 2012 either to cheer me on at Ironman Wisconsin or to do the race with me.

A couple at church let me know they started Weight Watchers.

Someone at the gym came up to me and told me that I have been an inspiration to her from afar. She has watched me from a distance for months now and barely recognized me.

I am told on a regular basis that I am an inspiration.

I do not tell you all this to get a pat on the back. I tell you this because I am constantly amazed at the feedback I am getting from so many people on how my journey is helping them. Me, just a mom from the midwest, making a difference in so many people's lives. It's amazing and exciting, but I have not always felt that way.

When people first started telling me that I was an inspiration I did not like it. I did not want that responsibility. I didn't want to let anyone down. It was out of my control. I could not control who I was inspiring. I wanted to share my story to help others and it started to, so why was I fighting it? I realized as time went on that I was fighting it because first of all, I didn't think I deserved it. I didn't like that I could inspire to change and what would happen then if they gained it all back? What would happen if I gained it all back? It was the old 306 pounds Melissa, full of doubt and low self confidence. I was told to embrace the people and the concept of inspiring others. I wasn't ready, but I am ready now.

If other people read my blog or my facebook and want to change their lives I embrace that and I will do whatever they need me to, to help them succeed. When people are calling me, texting me, or emailing me asking for encouragement I embrace it. I am changing everyday and I am on an incredible journey that I have no idea where it will take me or how I will use it to help others, but it already has started helping others and will continue to do so and I am so ready to not only help myself, but to help others as well.

Here is what dictionary.com says about inspiration:

in·spi·ra·tion (ĭn'spə-rā'shən)
n.

1. Stimulation of the mind or emotions to a high level of feeling or activity.

2. An agency, such as a person or work of art, that moves the intellect or emotions or prompts action or invention.

I love in the second definition that it says, "An agency that prompts action." I hope that my journey will not only encourage you, but will also prompt action in your life. I am here for you in whatever way you need me. I know that one of my gifts from God is encouragement and if you ever need any I've got a lot to give. I'm just a click, phone call, or text away. You can do it.

People ask me who is my inspiration, to keep going in my journey? I must say that my number one inspiration of all time is my mom. She was a woman who was full of life, loved helping others especially kids. She taught preschool, taught kids at church, women's bible studies. Wherever my mom went she touched lives. The only person my mom didn't take care of was herself. She became obese and died at the age of 53. My mom has taught me and inspired me to always put others first. She is the reason I love kids and working with kids. I am a lot like my mom and she has inspired me in so many parts of my life, but the one thing that her dying young, has inspired me to do, is to take care of myself. I refuse to die at the age of 53. My mom was my best friend and my biggest inspiration. We heard stories after my mom died of how she touched everyone's lives. I don't even think we will know the full extent until we get to heaven.

Like my mom I want to touch lives every day. I want to help others on their journey. I want to be an encouragement to everyone I come across. If my honesty on my blog and facebook can help then I will continue to blog and facebook. If me getting out there and doing 5K's and triathlons will help then I'll keep doing them. Like my mom always helped others I am ready and embrace the opportunity to help others in their journeys to better health through weight loss.

I love that I have inspired you all and hope that you area reaching your goals. I am here for you. Please keep the notes, comments, texts coming. I'll do what I can and then someday you'll pay it forward and help and inspire someone else. Please let me know what you are doing. I love hearing from you.

BE INSPIRED, BUT ALSO INSPIRE.

*UPDATE*
Someone wrote a comment and said that his little girls are his inspiration. That gave me an idea. Please comment below and let me know who your inspiration is in your life. It doesn't have to be me. ;-)

Also, I am working on my top ten list of people that inspire me. I will post soon.

BIG goggle vs. SMALL goggles and how I overcame

Sometimes we do things a certain way in life just because that is the way we have always done it. It's comfortable. It works. Why try a new way when we are fine with how we've always done it? This fact reminds me of a story.

There was a lady who would always cut off the ends of her ham before putting it into the pan. Her daughter, ovvserving this, asked her why she did this. Her mom answered, "because that is how your grandma does it." She went to her grandma and asked her. She answered, 'because that's how your great grandma always did it." She went and asked her great grandma and she answered, "I do it that way because my pan is too small and to get it to fit I need to cut off the ends."

There was a logical reason in the beginning for the ends of the ham to be cut off, but as the years went by and pans got bigger there was no reason to continue to cut off the ends of the ham. It's just what this family knew, what was comfortable for them, what was done, no questions asked.



Recently, someone asked me why I use the Big Aqua Sphere goggles when I swim. The answer was easy, "because I'm claustrophobic in the water and I've always swam with BIG goggles. That's how I'm comfortable in the water." That was an answer I have given several times. That's just how it is. I've been wearing BIG goggles for pretty much my whole triathlon career. That's 3 years. There is no reason for me to change now. I don't want to take a chance and mess things up, afterll, I have come so far in the pool and with my swimming. Why would I chance it, right? I'm good and anyway, I'm claustrophobic in the water, or am I?

Last week I couldn't find my BIG goggles. I always put them inthe same gym bag pocket. They were not there. I realized I had left my swim class in a hurry to get home and left them on the bench in the locer room, so before my next class I checked both lost and founds and found nothing. I was starting to worry. What would I do? How would I swim without my BIG goggles?

I always keep a spare pair of goggles in my gym bag. They are a very SMALL, tinted, not clear and BIG, and remember, I'm claustrophobic in the water. WIth no BIG, clear, goggles in sight I put on my SMALL, tinted, goggles. I did this with some hesitation and with some anxiety. I went under the water and because of the tint it was a lot darker under there then usual. I went under a second time and pushed off the wall and was on my way.



I was as strong as ever. I was doing it. With no more anxiety in sight I was on my way. I wanted to finish 500 yards before my swim coach arrived. I was almost done when she came to the edge of the pool and got my attention. She said, "Hey, Melissa, Val found your goggles in the locker room on Monday. She'll be bringing them today!" I was so excited that my goggles had been found. I swam away, still wearing my SMALL goggles and finished my last 100 yards. I was very happy about my BIG goggles being found, but as I finished that last 100 yards I started to wonder, did I need my BIG goggles anymore?

At my largest I was 306 pounds. I've always done things a certain way. I realized I have gotten pretty comfortable with how I have done things. Afterall, that's how I do things. Why change? It's been working for 3 years for me. I didn't need to change. Maybe I didn't want to change. If you change you have to step up and accept new challenges. Was I ready for new challenges or did I just want to keep doing things that way I had done them up until now. I didn't know. It was a lot to think about.

Val came in with my BIG goggles. I quickly changed goggles and swam another 50 and realized that I did not like how they felt anymore. I put my SMALL goggles back on and finished my workout. What was happening? I've always been claustrophobic in the water. I've always needed BIG,clear, goggles. That is who I have always been as a swimmer. I was scared, I was nervous. What did this mean? How would this change me. As I swam 2550 yards that day in my SMALL, tinted, goggles something changed in me in a BIG way.

I have swam a couple times since this day. I have my BIG goggles on the side of the pool and swim with my SMALL goggles on. I want to keep those goggles in sight while I swim. To me my BIG goggles signify me when I was 306 pounds. When I was less confident, scared, and anxious. I will always be grateful to those goggles for helping me get over the fear of putting my face in the water. I did my first flip turn in those goggles. I swam 1000 yards without stopping in those goggles, but now I am a new person. I have lost 70 pounds. I have a new excitement in my training, in my being, in who I am becoming. I do not need to cling onto the old me. I do not need to do things JUST BECAUSE that's how I've always done them. That is not me anymore. Coach Bob, keeps telling me I'm a new athlete and today in the pool I am more than ever. I have retired my BIG goggles, but I will never forget them. I will never forget who I was, but I will never go back there. I have retired the old me and am excited about who I am today and who I am becoming. Will there be hard days in the pool? Yes. Will I have hard days with my training? Yes. Will I have hard days with my eating? Yes. However, this time I will react differently. I will not let those hard days get me down. I will never look at life through BIG goggles again. I look forward to and welcome challenges and look forward to the outcome.

Watch out world. I'm on my way.

WEIGHT WATCHERS UDATE

I LOST 9 pounds this past week.

My total weight loss to date is 70.8 pounds.

I now weigh 235 pounds. I went from the 240's to the 230's this week.

My goal this week was to hit 65 pounds lost and I hit 70. Wahoooo!!

My first weight loss goal is to hit 130 pounds lost, so with this weigh in this week I have hit over half way to my first goal of 130 lost.

Wahhhhooooooo!! I'm so excited. Thanks everyone for your constant support and encouragement. You are all the best and I couldn't do this without you.

I can do ANYTHING now!!

Wow, exciting times are happening. I have had a lot happen in the last few days. It’s exciting. I’m like a kid at Christmas and considering it’s December already I guess that’s an appropriate analogy.

Something has just switched on in my brain. I’ve gone from someone who never thought I deserved happiness to someone who knows I deserve it. I’ve gone from someone who constantly was saying, “I can’t” to someone who says, “Bring it on.” I was the person who used to say, “Who me?” Now I say, “Why not me?” I can do whatever I set my mind to and no one or anything is going to stop me.

This change has been in the process of happening for sometime now, but really started taking root on November 22, 2009. That day I was volunteering at Ironman Arizona and while working the finish line I got to witness a part of history being made. I watched Rudy Garcia cross the finish line. He is a double amputee above the knee. He is about 23 years old and finishing an Ironman has been a goal of his. He tried in October in Hawaii, but did not make the bike cutoff. He was determined just a month later to finish in Arizona and he did. He is the first double amputee above the knee to reach this goal. I got to see him cross the finish line. I got to hear him interviewed after crossing the finish line. I got to shake his hand as he made his way through the finish line area (see above picture). I got to look him in the eye and tell him that he inspires me and many others. He said, “thanks.” Really, though, it should be me thanking him. That was the start of my change. That was the moment in time that I will remember for years to come.

Here is a young man who had every reason to stay at home and feel sorry for himself. What did he do to deserve not having legs? Why him? What’s the point in going on? The point is for moments like these. An overweight woman with big dreams, dreams of finally becoming healthy and fit and completing an Ironman seeing a young man with no legs reaching his goals. I’m sure that Rudy had people tell him he is crazy. I’m sure people told him he couldn’t do what he wanted to accomplish, but he didn’t listen and he has reached goal after goal including an Ironman finish.

I was almost 300 pounds when I first told people that I would be completing an Ironman by the time I turned 40. People thought and some still think that I am crazy. There will always be those critics. I could have just stayed almost 300 pounds and not cared. I have been dealt some tough cards in my life and I could have used those as my excuses for not reaching my goals, but like Rudy, I will overcome those obstacles and reach my goals. If Rudy, who doesn’t have any legs, can finish an Ironman and reach his goals, then what is stopping me?

When I started this journey I was 306.2 pounds. Today I am 238 pounds. I do not even know the last time I was in the 230’s. I am doing it. My dreams are no longer dreams they are my reality. I am living again. I am happy again. I have noticed in the last couple months and especially today I walk a little taller, a little prouder. I walk with my head held high. I do not hunch my shoulders anymore. I noticed that I walk with confidence. It has been a long time since I have been able to to that. I am proud of who I am and what I am becoming.

This past weekend was a real breakthrough for me. I worked out with my Coach, Bob, on Saturday and Sunday. Saturday, he really pushed me in the pool. As you all know the pool and I do not always get along. I was nervous, but I pushed through and had a great swim. I mean there was points where Bob was bumping my feet, making me do flip turns, and some crazy drills, that will help me prepare for triathlon swims. I was tired, I was nervous, but most importantly I was doing it. Just a few months ago I was still having trouble putting my face in the water, but now I am doing it. I am a new person and a new athlete. It’s amazing. I’m not even the same person.

Sunday he invited me to do a computrainer workout on my bike with him at a bike shop nearby. That’s where your bike gets put on a trainer and makes your bike like a stationary bike. The computer than makes the ride harder and easier as if you were riding outside. I was nervous. There would be people there I didn’t know. Would I be the biggest one in the class? What would people think of my bike? Could I keep up? It was a new type of workout. Would I be able to do it? Would I talk myself out of going? Should I even think that I could do it? I told Bob I was nervous, but I was going to come. I even called Darlene on the way there and told her that I was getting more and more nervous the closer I got to the store. I was running late and even called the store hoping that Bob would say I was too late and that I would have to come another time. Guess what? I wasn’t too late. He told me it was fine and to just keep heading his way. I had no more excuses.

I got there, got my bike set up, and got underway. This was one of the hardest workouts I had ever done. It was supposed to be a 90 minute workout, but Bob told me I would probably make it to an hour and that was ok. When I got to the hour mark I pushed on and finished the whole 90 minutes. Bob was really proud of how I did and I remember him saying something to the affect of, “You just put your big girl pants on.” I came away from that workout a different person. I had turned a corner in my training and in my thoughts. I now knew that I could do anything, ANYTHING, that I put my mind too. Just like Rudy Garcia put his mind to finishing Ironman Arizona, I will be able to reach my goals because now I know I can.

I have so much more that I want to write about. So much more that is just bubbling over, but I will save that for another day. Good Night.

Control

So I have been told that I need to not worry about those things or situations that I can't control.
I have complained to friends about certain situations and they have asked me, "Melissa, what can you do about it?" I answered, "Nothing." So they encouraged me not to worry about it.

It's the same with certain people in my life. I can't change them. I can't control what they say or do, so I have been working on not worrying about those people as well.

The problem I have with this is that the things in my life that I have no control over have controlled my life. When I was a child and things happened to me, or people did certain things, I couldn't control them, but they have molded me into who I am today. I was a kid. I had no choice in things that happened. They happened. They are part of my history, so what am I going to do about that today?

Put them behind me. That is what I am going to do. My past is just that, my past. I can't change what has happened in my life, but I can move on and change how I will respond and react to things in the future. I have held on to my past and my circumstances in my life and let them define me for too long. I have been great my whole life at just shoving my feelings down and am done doing that.

The one thing that I can control in my life is me. I can control how I react to situations. I can control what I do with my day. I need to be done relying on other people. It is great to have people in my life, but I have to realize that in the end the only person that is going to be there day after day is me, so I need to work on myself and taking care of myself and when things come along that I cannot control I will be strong enough to handle them and not let me get sidetracked as I have been in the past. If I can't control it, I"m not going to let it control me.

As you all know I will be doing Ironman Wisconsin in 2012. I was thinking about the whole control thing and racing. In a race whether it is a sprint distance triathlon or an Ironman you cannot control what happens to you. You can plan for your race down to every detail, but you toe the starting line and anything can happen. You can get sick, get a flat tire, twist your ankle, anything. How you react to it will make all the difference. If you let what happens to you on race day side rail you, you will never reach your goal, the finish line. If you let what happens to you in life side rail you, you will not reach your goals.

Today I am choosing to take back control of my life. I am choosing not to let others control what happens to me. My past is my past, but today starts the rest of my life. I am excited about things that are happening in my life. I am the happiest I have been in the longest time. I am a new person and I look forward with anticipation what my future holds.