Wednesday, May 05, 2010

I am a wearer of wetsuits!!!!!!!

Today I headed to my favorite running store, Runner's High -n- Tri, in Arlington Heights, Illinois. I got fitted for some new running shoes that are on hold, so my husband will go and pick them up for me for Mother's Day. (hint, hint, hint) I also knew that I wanted to try on a wetsuit. I have always been scared of wetsuits. I have never even thought about trying on a wetsuit. I was never the right size for a wetsuit, but today I knew it was time. I would tackle trying one on.

I talked to Erin, told her how much I weigh, 215 today, how tall I was etc. I told her I would probably just need the biggest size they have. She said the most wonderful thing to me. She said, "Nope, the biggest size will be too big on you." What did she just say? I know I must have heard wrong, right? Nope, I heard her correctly, I double checked the tag to make sure she was right, and guess what? She was right. She brought me the wetsuit and I tried it on. It was hard to get on, but not as hard as I thought. I came out of the fitting room, it was zipped up for me, and I asked them to snap a picture of me. The picture you see above is the picture they took. They looked at me from all angles. They said, "You actually might want to buy the next size down when you come back." I said, "What?" Yup, I heard them right. I might want to buy the next size down when I come back. Wow, who would have thought. I asked them the best technique for taking it off and headed into the dressing room.

That's when it hit me. I was walking back into the dressing room, closed the door, and saw myself in the full length mirror. OH. MY. GOSH!! WHO IS THAT PERSON? I had to stare for a minute. I started bawling like a baby. I mean big time. I had to cover my mouth with my hand, so nobody would hear me. I sat down on a little bench and just let it all out. That person in the mirror was me.

I have not been this weight in over 16 years. I passed my wedding day weight last Saturday. It was all very surreal. It had not hit me yet the significance of my weight loss. The significance of how far I have come. The significance or my journey. Up until today, when I looked in the mirror, I saw the flab under my arms, hated the size of my arms, my thighs, and still concentrated on my big stomach. All of that was erased today. Look how far I have come. I'm tearing up just writing this. I know I still have a way to go in my journey. I still have a lot more to do to get where I want to go, but today my focus has totally changed. I'm concentrating on how far I have come, I'm realistic about how far I have to go, but not negative about me.

Today was HUGE for me and this post does not even begin to describe the transformation that took place in that dressing room today. I needed this. I'm ready to kick even more butt. Watch out!!

I posted this pic on facebook and the comments are starting to pour in and the instant messages.

One comment that stood out was from my friend Carole, "Melissa you look so . . . . normal."

My friend Paul instant messaged me, accused me of photo shopping the pic, congratulated me and said, "Wow, your arms are really taking shape." My arms, wow, the one area of my body that I can't stand. They are taking shape. My arms. Yay!! That also drove home the point to me that I need to focus on where I've come from and not just concentrating on the negatives.

I hope that I was able to convey just a little of how today made me feel. It was incredible!! It was awesome!! It was a feeling that I will remember for a long time to come.




fitncrafty said...

You look awesome!!
I need to get you to get me unafraid of wetsuits AND mucky water!!

Maddie said...

Melissa, you are FANTASTIC! I'm so glad you conquered yet another fear and (pun not intended) blew it out of the water!

I can't wait to see you STRIP OUT OF THAT WETSUIT during your Tri this July. :)

The Big Cheese said...

Wonderfully honest post. Thank you for sharing.

Bob Mitera said...

You're doing it.

Can't wait to swim at Lake in the Hills with you and everyone else on the Wednesday night swim.