Why I Felt Amazing

My friend Jason is having a little contest over at his blog. He has lost 130 pounds on Weight Watchers and uses his blog to encourage so many in their daily struggles to get healthy. He's having a little contest over there at run4change. He wants us to post a picture and tell why we felt amazing in that picture. He doesn't care what size you are in the picture or what you are doing just that you felt amazing. Most of you that have stopped by my blog have seen this picture before as it is on the side of my blog.


Here I am completing my third sprint triathlon. I felt really amazing here because despite the fact that I had gained weight back and really felt like the odds were against me this summer I still participated in this triathlon. I feel amazing here because even though I am almost at my heaviest in this picture I am not letting my weight stop what I want to do. I feel amazing because I am healthy enough to run in races. I feel amazing here because I had just swam 1/2 mile, biked 15 miles, and walked a 5k. I feel amazing here because I did not come in last (close, but not last). I feel amazing here because I am out there letting people know that no matter their size they can follow their dreams. I feel amazing in this picture BECAUSE I AM AMAZING and I deserve happiness, to be healthy, and to live a long life. Please do not wait to lose your weight before you start to live. Start living today and your weight will come off in the process. You are all amazing and I feel amazed that I have so many lovely people in my life to help me on my journey.

Some Amazing Haikus for you (5 syllables in the first line, 7 in the second, and 5 in the third

Feel amazing
Don't put off til tomorrow
What you can do now

You are amazing
You deserve to be healthy
You can do it. YEAH!!!!

You are beautiful
You are AWESOME and gosh darn
it, people love you!!

I can do this!!

As you know I had a bad weekend, but I'm bouncing back. I found this little inspirational quote online and really like it. I know that I can do this lifestyle change and become the healthy person I want to be. I need to believe in my abilities, never quit and I will succeed.

Interesting Day Yesterday

I had a very interesting day yesterday. I wish that I could have a redo.
I knew I had hit 30 pounds lost yesterday, so I was very excited to head to Weight Watchers and weigh in. It was a day to celebrate!!
I weighed myself right before going. I should have lost almost 1.5 pounds, but I got there and it said I lost .4
I lost it. I had a break down right there at my WW meeting. The lady that weighed me in kept telling me that I was heading in the right direction, that I had a loss, that I shouldn't be that upset. All of those things are true, but in Weight Watchers you set these little goals and one of the first goals that you set for yourself is 10% of your total weight. My starting weight in this journey was 306.2 so that makes 30 pounds my 10% goal. Now that has been a hard goal for me to reach. Some people at Weight Watchers have 30 pounds lost as their lifetime goal, but not me it's just my 10%. I knew that I had made it. I had worked hard this past week, so when I stepped on that scale and it said .4 it just hit me. I was at 29.6 pounds lost. I went into the bathroom and had myself a big 'ol cry and boy did it feel good. I just let it out. Then I washed my face and headed into the meeting. I just sat there and was determined to leave as soon as it was over and was not going to share, but then Kirk (my leader) did celebrations. There was someone there that reached her 10%, so I started crying even though I was happy for her. At the end of celebrations Kirk always asks us, "Is there anyone else that lost any in between amounts? .2, .4? " I raised my hand and let everyone know how upset I was, but that I lost .4 and that this is the first time that I could zip my winter coat. Everyone was so encouraging so I am glad I stayed and I talked to Kirk afterwards, so I left there feeling pretty good again, but wait there's more to the story. . .

After Weight Watchers every week for the last 4 weeks I stop at the gym and weigh in for a contest I'm in. They call it THE BIGGEST WINNER contest. We are in teams and you have to do challenges every week and then they post how your team is doing by percentage of weight loss. My team, the green team is in 3rd place out of 5. I go in there and weigh myself in and their scale matches my scale at home and it says I lost 1.2 pounds, so in 4 weeks of this contest I have lost 9 pounds total. However, this really ticked me off about WW again, so I decided what was the point and I ate like crap all day. My stomach still hurts this morning and have a feeling it will for the rest of the day. I didn't care and that is why I wish I could have a redo for yesterday. I'm so mad at myself and hate how I responded. Today is a new day and I will do better. I have come so far and to respond like this makes me realize that maybe I haven't come as far as I thought, which also has me down. Not this past week, but the week before I was hit with a lot of bad news and not once did I overeat, so I'm ticked that I let this side rail me.

I know all the right things to tell myself. I did have a loss. .4 lost is like 8 sticks of butter I think. I have to look where I've come from. Think of the positives. I worked out everyday last week. I can zip my winter coat. I am feeling better about myself. I am encouraging and inspiring others. I can run up the stairs at home without dying. I am eating fruits and veggies that I would have never tried before. I haven't had a soda in almost a year. I am not as stressed at home. I workout with a coach that is pushing me beyond what I could have ever imagined myself doing. I am starting to run. I get bummed when I have to miss a workout. I look in the mirror and am starting to like what I see. etc. etc. etc. But yesterday this list did not help and I am paying for it today.

I wasn't going to write about his on my blog because I am ashamed of my responses. I wasn't going to write about this because I didn't want you all thinking badly of me, but then I remembered why I write this blog. I write it for me. I love all of you that read it, but it's gotta be for me. I want to look back and see the good times and the bad. I want to know what caused the slip ups and what I did about it, so I am writing about it. It's not easy, but I am and I actually feel better about it already.

The thing that ticks me off the most about my whole day yesterday is that right before going to weigh in I gave my weigh-in to the Lord. I told Him that no matter what the scale said I was His and that I know He is in control. This is the first time that I prayed before a weigh in and the first time I had a break down. Starting in November is really the first time I have completely given my Weight loss journey completely to God and I believe that Satan doesn't like where my journey is taking me and yesterday I know that Satan had the victory. I lost that battle yesterday because I did not call out to the Lord in my distress, but will win the battle today. Thank you Lord for loving me unconditionally. I know that you are with me and that you will help me and that I will have VICTORY.

Yesterday I fell down, but today I am back up and will keep going. Here is a song that I listen to a lot while working out (it's one of my theme songs for my journey) and it is perfect for my day for yesterday. It's called GET UP by SUPERCHICK. I was trying to embed the video, but couldn't, so here are the lyrics.

Verse 1
I'm not afraid to fall
It means I climbed up high
To fall is not to fail
You fail when you don't try Not afraid to fall
I might just learn to fly
And I will spread these wings of mine

Chorus
c'mon
If I get up I might fall back down again
So let's get up c'mon
If I get up I might fall back down again
But we get up anyway
If I get up I might fall back down again
So let's get up c'mon
If I get up I might fall back down again
I might fall back down again
But we'll just jump and see
Even if it's the 20th time
We'll just jump and see if we can fly

Verse 2
I'm not afraid to fall
And hear I told you so
Don't want to rock the boat
But I just had to know
Just a greener side
Or can I touch the sky
But either way I will have tried

Chorus
If I get up I might fall back down again
So let's get up c'mon
If I get up I might fall back down again
But we get up anyway
If I get up I might fall back down again
So let's get up c'mon
If I get up I might fall back down again
I might fall back down again
But we'll just jump and see
Even if it's the 30th time
We'll just jump and see if we can fly

Verse 3
I'm not afraid to fall
I've fallen many times
They laughed when I fell down
But I have dared to climb
Not afraid to fall
I know I'll fall again
But I can win this in the end

Chorus
If I get up I might fall back down again
So let's get up c'mon
If I get up I might fall back down again
But we get up anyway
If I get up I might fall back down again
So let's get up c'mon
If I get up I might fall back down again
I might fall back down again
But we'll just jump and see
Even if it's the 40th time
We'll just jump and see if we can fly

If I get up I might fall back down again
So let's get up c'mon
If I get up I might fall back down again
But we get up anyway
If I get up I might fall back down again
So let's get up c'mon
If I get up I might fall back down again
I might fall back down again

Inspiring others

I got a note today on my facebook saying that because of me my friend Teresa has joined weight watchers and is going to go to her first meeting tonight.

Teresa, I know that you are going to do well. I'm so proud of you for taking this first step. I'm glad that you found inspiration through my journey and now you will be able to inspire others.

I have had trouble in the past with the thought that I was inspiring others. I know that it sounds silly, but I thought if I was inspiring others and then screwed up I would have to deal with letting others down. I was talking about it with my friend Jason. He has a most inspiring blog at run 4 change. He told me that I inspire him. I couldn't believe that I actually inspire him when he is someone that is a great inspiration to me. We discussed my problems with being an inspiration to others. He told me that it was my attitude and my positive personality that inspired him not necessarily my weight loss. I was thinking of this inspiration deal in terms of my weight loss. If I gained my weight back I would let people down, but it's not necessarily the weight loss that is inspiring them.

I got to thinking that is what I need to strive for in life. I need to always be positive. I need to have a great attitude. Even if I gain my weight back (which I won't) I can still provide inspiration, by how I decide to deal with it. I won't be letting anyone down if I mess up. I'll be being real and sharing what comes with that and getting up, dusting myself off, and starting over. I will encourage those that mess up to do the same. Look at life as the glass is half full, not empty. I will believe in my abilities, never quit, and I will succeed and I will inspire others along the way to do the same thing.

To those of you who have said I have inspired you. Thanks. I never thought that would be the case and I'm glad that sharing my story, the good parts and the bad, have helped you in some little way. Through you sharing your stories with me you have inspired me to keep going as well.

So let's keep the inspiration going by sharing our journeys, believing in our abilities, never giving up, and we will succeed.

Remember, we can do all things through Christ who gives us the strength. (Phillipians 4:13). The most important inspiration in my life is God. He sent His only son to die on the cross for my sins, my shortcomings. That is the most unselfish thing anyone could ever do for me and I hope that through my life I can be just as unselfish to others and help them along in their journey.

Weight Watchers Update!!

Well another week and another weigh-in. How did I do you might ask? I ROCKED IT!!!!!
I lost another 2.6 pounds. Wahooooo! I am now 277.4 with my grand total of weight loss being 29.2 Now don't get me wrong I was very happy with the weight loss, but so bummed I didn't lose enough to hit 30 pounds loss. One of the first goals that you set in weight watchers is to lose 10% of your weight and 30 pounds is my 10% goal, so I mentioned in my meeting that I was so close to losing it, so they all said they would be ready to cheer for me next week. That is giving me so much motivation this week. I want to be at 275 after this week is over.

GUYS THIS NEXT PARAGRAPH IS A LITTLE GIRLY IF YOU DON'T WANT TO KEEP READING!! OK YOU WERE WARNED.

I lost this 2.6 pounds during my time of the month. So many times woman use that as an excuse to overeat. I know that I used to and would gain weight that week or stay the same. This is the first time that I lost, so now when I hear women say that they gained weight due to their period I know it's possible to lose weight even during that time.

GIRLY PART OVER

Here is something else that I'm dealing with today. On the treadmill Friday I decided to listen to music and I did not turn on the TV. Each treadmill has it's own TV. Sometimes I will put it on even when listening to music just so I have something to look at, but I didn't do that Friday and as I was walking and jogging I was looking the reflection of my face. It hit me then and there that I was thinner. I have not been able to see it until Friday. I am thinner. I noticed it when I put on an outfit to go out yesterday. I'm very excited that I can tell now, but here is the thing I am dealing with now in regards to this. We went out to a nice restaurant for dinner with the kids and we took pictures. I don't even look the same in them. I feel like I was looking at someone else in them. I can tell it's me, but there are some where my right cheek is very wrinkly (Wrinkles I have never had before). I really don't like some of the pictures of me. I couldn't put my finger on why these pictures were bothering me and then I realized that it's because I'm losing weight. I look different because I'm losing weight.

It got me to thinking. . . am I going to like the "new" me? When I lose all my weight are people going to treat me differently now that I'm not fat? Do I want to be treated differently? Will I be able to accept the new me if I have loose skin everywhere? Why am I so comfortable being fat and scared to death of being thin? I'm actually scared about what my life will be like when I'm thin. I know all the benefits. I know I will be happy. I know that I will be able to do the Ironman that I want to do. I know that this is what I want, but this weekend it hit me that I'm scared. Scared of the unknown. Scared of becoming someone different. I know that I will be the same person, but I will change in some aspects because when I become thin I will be doing things I have never done, so I will be changed. I will be a little different. I know if you have never struggled with weight you might not understand this concept, but for those of you who have I know you get it. It's hard. I'm excited as all get out about the changes, but scared. It's a weird place to be at right now.

I would love to have any input, advice, and encouragement you could send my way. Thanks.

At the gym on Friday. I jogged intervals. I would jog (more like slog=slow jog) 2 minutes and walk 5 until I reached 45 minutes. That means that I jogged a total of 14 minutes. That is the most I have ever ran. It felt good. I felt like I was going to die at some points, but I felt good. I'm hoping to nail those 5k's this spring and summer.

I had some stressful news this week. Several different situations many days in a row. I was ready to stop answering the phone it was so much, but what has made me realize how much I have changed and how far I have come is that I did not eat junk when I was stressed. I was really upset one night and decided I didn't care and was going to go get McDonalds and pig out. I was at a light. McDonalds was to my left, Subway to my right. I went to Subway. That was Wednesday night this past week and boy did I feel great. I knew right then and there that I have made it. I did not emotional eat all week. That is a huge victory right there.

Life if good. I've got great momentum and I'm not stopping anytime soon. Those of you trying to lose weight ask yourself one question before you make an unhealthy decision. Is it worth it? That is my mantra now and the answer is always no. It's not. It is true what they say if you eat less and move more and get your fruits, veggies, and water in everyday you will lose weight. You can do it. I've got the momentum to keep going and know that you can too.



My weight watcher leader told me once TO BELIEVE IN MY ABILITIES, NEVER QUIT, and I WILL SUCCEED. Guess what? He was right. I don't tell myself that I can't do something. I have the ability to do whatever I want and I'm living proof of that.

Have a great Sunday!!

Be good to yourself and each other.

No I have not fallen off the face of the earth!!

I am still here. I am busy. I have no time to really read blogs or to blog myself. Here are my updates:

I am student teaching in a third grade class. I LOOOOVE IT!!! The kids are great and we are finally getting used to each other. I am now doing spelling and science and will soon be teaching more. My teacher is great. She has been teaching for 15 years and has lots of advice. She has taught the same grade for all those years too, so she really knows the ins and outs of third graders and that is the grade I hope to teach.

Most embaraassing moment so far from student teaching:
I fell. We were walking to an assembly. I turned around to tell kids to be quiet and to tell the teacher something and was walking backwards a few steps and some little dear left their boots in the middle of the hallway and I went right over them flat on my back. It was not pretty. I was sore that day, iced a lot, but was fine the next day. I was even able to go to personal training with Matt.

Speaking of Matt. I have not been able to train in about a month because of being sick and then starting student teaching. I let him know about my fall, so we kinda tested the waters first, but I was fine. He worked me out hard. The one huge accomplishment I had was jogging 2 minutes without stopping. He told me to hop on the treadmill walk for 30 seconds, jog for 2, and then walk for 30. I thought I heard him wrong, so I asked him again. I heard him right. I said ok, verbally, but was doubting myself, but then told myself not to be a JOELLE (biggest loser reference. She was a contestant that could not run for 30 seconds when told to do so. She made her trainer scream and he never screams.) I was able to do it and didn't die. I almost cried I was so proud of myself. We had a great workout even though I thought I might die afterwards and today I can hardly move. :-) Thanks Matt.

Last but not least Weight Watchers.

January 24th- I did not go
January 31- gained 3 pounds
February 7- lost 3 pounds
Current weight 280
Total lost 26.0

I'm glad to be back where I was, so no major setbacks.

I'm looking forward to a new week. A new week and eating right, working out, teaching, and loving life.
Have a blessed week.

If you want more frequent updates and you are on facebook email me and we can be friends on there, so you can get my updates.